LunaLog

“ I’m convinced that one of the main sins of the established church is that we have taught ourselves to be nice instead of being Christian. In spite of aspiring to be a disciple of Jesus, we teach that the essence of Christianity is to be nice. Where do we get such a notion? Certainly not from the actions of Jesus. Jesus taught us that being nice has nothing to do with being Christian. Being nice is often nothing more than a lack of compassion for people.

— Bill Easum

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Dear Google,

You guys are smart, and pretty good at filtering spam. But I’m dumbfounded as to how this one got past your filters…

If someone ever sends me an email with the words “Gain Penis” in it, you have my permission to just go ahead and label it as spam. Better yet, just delete it. Don’t even worry about whether the sender is in my contacts list or not, just filter it with reckless abandon.

many thanks,

jl

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Happy Anniversary

Here’s to 10 years with my Dream Girl.

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Two Score and Ten Ways to Help the Planet

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Economic Stimulus Plan

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

“Q. Where will the government get this money?
“A. From taxpayers.

“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
“A. Only a smidgen.

“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
“A. Shut up.”

(Source: Dave Barry of Miami Herald)

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Tucker @ Bed, Bath & Beyond

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“ I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.

— Stephen Hawking

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Winningest Coach

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Irish Joke

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, “ain’t no use knockin, there’s no paper on this side either!!!”

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So thoroughly true…

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